But I See You

[j2ster]

Title: But I See You
Pairing: Junmyeon/Kyungsoo, very side!seluxing
Rating: PG
Warnings: includes all past exo members, and some fem!exo members without name changes.
Word count: 12,592 words
Summary: Junmyeon might have a crush on the quiet outcasted nerd, even if most students prefer to stay away from Kyungsoo.
A/N: Originally written for reflection0112 round one. Title from MIKA’s I See You. Thank you to Will, for sparing some time to beta this, but mostly for everything else, thank you thank you thank you.



Junmyeon shakes his head as Baekhyun mischievously bumps Jongdae past the door and into the secondary auditorium for their general studies class. Jongdae yelps, turning around swiftly and bopping Baekhyun on the head as Chanyeol nearly trips over his own feet and Yifan snickers behind them.

When Junmyeon looks up at the array of seats, Kyungsoo is already on his seat at the far back corner, glasses on and his books and stationery laid out neatly on the tiny desk attached to his seat. Junmyeon smiles to himself and only looks away when Baekhyun staggers and bumps to his side, probably from where Jongdae’s hit him yet again. Baekhyun just never learns.

The five of them take their respective seats on the third row. Baekhyun’s complained about it a few times because the teacher can easily monitor them from her position and he can’t possibly annoy Jongdae without her noticing. Junmyeon simply brushes him off because it’s close enough to hear the teacher clearly but not too close that they have to crane their necks up. It’s perfect and Junmyeon likes it this way.

Junmyeon briefly wonders if Kyungsoo can hear what the teacher is saying from his position way up the auditorium hall before he’s pulled away from the thought when Chanyeol’s head teeters to his general direction from where he’s falling asleep. Junmyeon nudges him lightly before the teacher notices and decides to call him out on it.

Five minutes before the lecture ends finds Baekhyun whining annoyingly in his seat at the semestral project the teacher has just assigned. Chanyeol is staring into the void, clearly distracted (Junmyeon might have to explain the entire assignment to him later on), and Jongdae is reaching over inconveniently to stick his pen up a sleeping Yifan’s nostril.

Yifan startles awake when the bell rings, and Jongdae laughs loudly when the pen catches at the rim of Yifan’s nostril. From his seat, Junmyeon catches Kyungsoo walk out of the auditorium, his glasses already tucked away and his books gripped securely in his arms, and smiles even as Yifan unintentionally drops a lanky arm on him from where he’s trying to get his hand on a hysterical Jongdae.

-

Junmyeon sees Kyungsoo exit the lunch hall just as he enters it. Kyungsoo has his lunch tray on his hands. He looks so handsome without his glasses on (not that he doesn't with them on; Junmyeon just doesn't get to see him without them often), even with the distance between them.

He doesn't tear his gaze and watches as Kyungsoo walks out of the cafeteria, an oddity to the large flow of students filing in, and disappears behind a wall. None of his friends seem to notice him staring, possibly more interested in the crappy cafeteria menu, and Junmyeon only looks away when Chanyeol tugs at his arm towards the queue line.

Junmyeon wonders where Kyungsoo's disappeared to, even as Chanyeol squeals in delight at the sight of food. It would have been cute if it were Jongdae or Baekhyun, but it's Chanyeol with his extremely deep voice, so it just makes him sound ridiculous. Junmyeon thinks it matches the huge grin on his face.

-

"Why does everyone call him a creepy nerd?"

They’re in Chanyeol’s room, Chanyeol sitting cross-legged with a guitar propped up on his lanky legs and Junmyeon leaning against the side of Chanyeol’s bed.

“Who?” Chanyeol is fiddling with his guitar.

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon specifies, plucking at the lose strands on the carpet beneath his feet.

“Kyungsoo? What about Kyungsoo?”

Junmyeon doesn’t have to check to know that Chanyeol is distracted again. Chanyeol always has problems concentrating on more than one particular task at a time. It’s like he’s too absorbed in the task at hand he has barely any spare attention left to give. Junmyeon sighs. “Why do people call him a creepy nerd?”

There's a moment of pause, one that might have given the idea that Chanyeol's silently pondering Junmyeon's question, but he's too preoccupied with wiping at the fingerboard of his guitar and making sure it looks squeaky clean to pay that much attention. Chanyeol looks up, giving Junmyeon a noncommittal shrug. "I don't know. He reads a lot," he says easily before turning back to his guitar, like that's enough of an explanation.

Chanyeol plucks at a string experimentally. "That doesn't make sense," Junmyeon says. He shifts on the carpeted floor, agitated.

"I know. I can't seem to get the right E," Chanyeol says, plucking repeatedly at the string as he minutely turns a bridge pin in full concentration. "Does this sound right to you?" he asks, not quite at Junmyeon.

Junmyeon tells him, "I don't know."

Chanyeol says, "It doesn't to me and I have no idea why. This is so annoying."

"Chanyeol, reading books doesn't make him creepy," Junmyeon says.

This time, when Chanyeol looks up, he looks Junmyeon right in the eyes, raising his brows and looking like he's processing the topic for the first time since Junmyeon's brought it up. "Have you seen the way he looks at people?" he says, "Like, his eyes. They're weird. Creepy. Like he's internally summoning satan and trying to shoot laser from his eyes at the same time." He gestures with his fingers, pointing them outwards from his eyes, and shivers a full body shudder.

"Chanyeol, you can't shoot laser from your eyes. That's not possible."

"Well. He looks like he's trying to," Chanyeol says, persistent.

Junmyeon frowns. "That's not a nice thing to say about people."

Chanyeol frowns back, childishly. "What is your problem?" he asks, looking back down at his guitar and pointedly ending the conversation. There's no spite in his tone, though. Junmyeon knows Chanyeol just wants to get it over with so he can proceed to change the strings on his guitar in peace.

-

It’s not rarely that his curiosity gets to him so deep that he finds himself losing focus on lectures and missing important points on council meetings. Junmyeon isn’t stubborn, though. He’s curious, and he knows better than to bury it deep down and hope that it never gets to him ever again. That’s not what he wants. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, and Junmyeon does want to know about Kyungsoo.

The thing is that Junmyeon doesn’t want to make it obvious. Chanyeol is no use. Junmyeon doubts Yifan pays any attention to anyone, really. Jongdae- no. Jongdae will know and try to dig deeper because it never takes much to reel in that inquisitive nature of his. Baekhyun is even worse.

Then again, if Junmyeon wants to find out about Kyungsoo from anyone without risking being showered with too many questions, it would have to be Minseok. Even if Minseok happens to find out, – and Junmyeon expects that to happen; Minseok isn’t stupid – Junmyeon knows he can trust her to keep his unspoken feelings all to herself.

“Minseok?” Junmyeon says after he makes sure that the rest of the students have left the room, palms flat on the table surface as he carefully slides his gaze to Minseok.

“Yeah?” Minseok hums, not looking up from where she’s arranging some files from today’s council meeting on the cabinet.

“So I was just thinking,” he says, cautious, “What do you think about Kyungsoo?”

Minseok turns to look at him. “Kyungsoo?” She blinks. “Do Kyungsoo?” she repeats, a soft frown on her face. “Ms. Song had me help Kyungsoo and a few other kids for lab, once. He’s a good kid. Once you get to know him, that is. Most people don’t.” She’s looking at him, but her gaze is far, almost wistful. She’s only a year older than him, but this is Minseok, someone Junmyeon can go to when he needs a friend who’s more adult and composed, whom he can rely to and seek help from. This Minseok, though, with the barely noticeable frown still on her face when she adds, “Why?” – Junmyeon’s never seen Minseok so poorly conceal her emotions in a conversation before.

"He's my pair for the semestral project on general studies," Junmyeon says, glancing up at Minseok.

The slightest frown on her face is replaced by a look of bewilderment. "Oh?" Junmyeon gulps down the non-existent lump in his throat. "They let us choose our own pair for the project last year. I wasn't aware that they've made changes for this year. That's weird."

The thing is that they haven't, and Junmyeon doesn't have to check to know the shift on Minseok's facial expression at Junmyeon's silence, the gears in her head working and turning quick like the brainy senior she is.

"Unless they haven't," she says, making a pointed look at him. Junmyeon averts his gaze. "Junmyeon, did the teacher assign the pairings?"

"No," Junmyeon answers obediently, because what else is he supposed to do when it's Minseok?

When he looks up, Minseok is standing right across him, the files already neatly propped up on the shelves and her arms folded in front of her. "He's not your pair just yet, is he?" she says, looking at Junmyeon and holding his gaze.

"No," Junmyeon says. "I will try to ask him as soon as I can and-"

"Okay." Junmyeon blinks at her, and then releases the breath he wasn't aware he's been holding. This is how it's always been with Minseok. He never has to tell her the entire thing and she always listens and understands and never demands for more. Just there. "He eats lunch at the third floor multipurpose room," she says, then adds, with elegance and a knowing smile, "In case you're wondering."

"Thank you," Junmyeon says, grateful. Minseok smiles at him, flashing a neat row of teeth. She's about to leave when a thought strikes him. "You know, he's been..."

"What is it?" she prompts, peering up at him, her new pixie cut framing her face nicely.

"Not bullied, he's," Junmyeon trails off, trying to find the right word.

"Outcasted," Minseok finishes for him. The soft frown is back on her face again, but this time, she catches it immediately, the expression gone from her face as soon as Junmyeon catches it.

Junmyeon looks down at his hands, still propped up on the table surface. “Yes.”

They're silent for a few seconds before Minseok seems to collect herself and reach for the door.

"Thank you, Minseok," Junmyeon says, flashing her a small, genuine smile.

"Anytime, Junmyeon," she says over her shoulder and closes the door behind her.

-

Junmyeon doesn't make his approach until the next week. He finishes his lunch twice as fast and excuses himself from the table, saying he has stuff to do. Jongdae gives him a mild searching look but Junmyeon doesn't hold back, offering them a quick smile before putting his lunch tray away and making his way to the third floor.

The lights are on when he reaches the multipurpose room at the end of the hallway. He doesn't try to push the door open silently, instead letting the hushed creak echo into the room as he opens the door wide. Junmyeon considers, if anything, indirectly letting Kyungsoo know of his presence would be more welcome than barging in discreetly.

Kyungsoo is sitting on the floor at the far corner, legs crossed with his lunch tray balanced on his lap as he sits by the clutter of desks and chairs. He looks up at the sudden intrusion, eyes wide when he catches sight of Junmyeon and hand quickly putting away the book he has in his grip, laying it on the floor still opened and the pages facing down.

"Um," Junmyeon says, taking a small step forward. "Can I-" He motions vaguely with his hands.

The rest of his sentence dies in his throat when Kyungsoo says, "What do you want?"

Junmyeon stills on his feet and feels his eyes widen slightly. It's not often that he gets to hear Kyungsoo speak, so this is new. Junmyeon thinks Kyungsoo has a nice voice. He kind of likes it. "I was just wondering," he says, taking slow steps forward as he does so, "if we can pair up for the general studies project."

Kyungsoo blinks. "You mean-"

"That is," Junmyeon cuts in, "if you don't already have a partner to do it with."

Kyungsoo is silent for a while, sitting there with his lunch tray on his lap, a bit of his lunch still left uneaten, as he grips loosely at his chopsticks and doesn't move. Junmyeon takes a step closer. From here, he can see the way the sunlight filters through the windows and lands on Kyungsoo's face, illuminating his features and radiating a glow from him. He looks so young. So handsome and so soft, with his large eyes and full lips and plump cheeks. Junmyeon's never seen him this close before.

Junmyeon would like to think that this is progress, though really, Kyungsoo is staring cautiously at him like Junmyeon is about to pull a prank on him at any moment. Still, there is no way that he's going to let his efforts so far go to waste. It's not the plan, but Junmyeon presses anyway.

"My group is an odd number and the rest have all paired up with each other," he reasons. Truth is, they haven't. Though he's pretty sure Baekhyun will try with all ways possible to have Jongdae as his pair and Chanyeol won't mind working with Yifan, seeing that Chanyeol likes doing things his own pace and Yifan isn't demanding in nature, unlike Junmyeon. So really, it isn't a complete lie. "So if you don't have a pair yet and don't mind doing the project with me, we can, you know."

Junmyeon shifts on his feet. He's aware that he's fiddling with his fingers nervously and that Kyungsoo is looking right at them, but he can't stop.

"Okay," Kyungsoo says, finally, after a moment of consideration.

Junmyeon blinks. “Okay?” He hasn’t expected Kyungsoo to agree this fast, and Junmyeon bites into his bottom lip to resist the smile threatening to form on his face.

“Yeah.”

There’s a moment of pause, Junmyeon just standing there not knowing what to do but not really wanting to leave just yet while Kyungsoo pokes at his stir-fried anchovies. Kyungsoo spoons some rice and egg into his mouth, chews, and gulps down before looking up from his food because, well, Junmyeon is still here. He shifts on his feet again.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, not unkindly.

Junmyeon looks to the side. Kyungsoo is reading a Korean translated version of Oliver Twist, the book a bit worn and the tiny paper attached to the spine the only indication that he’s borrowed it from the school library.

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are from different classes. The only subject wherein the entire level gets to be in one class is general studies. It’s been a while since Junmyeon’s been to the library. Maybe that’s why he rarely gets to see Kyungsoo anywhere that isn’t the secondary auditorium.

Junmyeon licks his lips. “I don’t read a lot of Dickens.” Kyungsoo looks up from his lunch. “But Oliver Twist was a nice one,” he finishes, giving Kyungsoo a small smile.

Kyungsoo looks down at his book. “This is my second time reading it,” he says. Kyungsoo doesn’t try to stop Junmyeon when he takes another step forward, so he proceeds to take a seat on the floor, a few feet across Kyungsoo. “I had the book once, but I lost it.” There’s something to his voice, but it’s hard to point out what exactly from this angle, and only when he looks up does Junmyeon realise that he’s smiling softly, the curves of his mouth so gentle and calm that Junmyeon feels himself smiling just the same. “Probably misplaced it somewhere. That tends to happen,” he says, and the soft laugh that follows catches Junmyeon off-guard. It’s so… warm, his cheeks lifted up and eyes shining as he chuckles at himself, and Junmyeon feels his heart beat just a tad bit faster.

The laugh trails off into a sudden stop, the smile on Kyungsoo’s face freezing and his eyes widening for a second. It’s there again, the invisible barricade that Kyungsoo puts between himself and the world, probably habitual at this rate. Junmyeon can see the way Kyungsoo’s cheeks colour faintly and the way he turns to where the sun is shining through the window to hide the tinge on his face, though really, it only makes it even more obvious.

The room is quiet, the whirring of the air conditioner the only sound filtering through as Junmyeon sits across Kyungsoo and watches. “So, when do we start?”

Kyungsoo turns to him, wide-eyed and a mildly confused look on his face, before he seems to get it. “Oh. As soon as possible is always better.”

“Of course.” The due date isn’t until a couple of months later, but Junmyeon doesn’t see why they shouldn’t. “What about tomorrow?” he suggests, “At the library?”

Kyungsoo hums. “After school?”

“Yeah. Sounds great.” Junmyeon realises that Kyungsoo is still holding onto his chopsticks and has a bit of lunch left uneaten. “You should eat, though,” he says with a chuckle, and doesn’t hold back the laughter that escapes at the flustered look on Kyungsoo’s face as he makes haste to finish his meal.

Junmyeon doesn’t leave early for class, instead waits for Kyungsoo and watches contently as Kyungsoo eats and doesn’t push Junmyeon away. At least, he doesn’t spare any indications that he doesn’t want Junmyeon here. This is new, listening to Kyungsoo talk so comfortably, albeit only for a short while. He captures the image of Kyungsoo’s smile with his eyes and keeps it close to his heart.

They don’t talk, even after the bell rings, and they walk to class side by side with Kyungsoo keeping just enough distance between them, but this is okay. This is something, and Junmyeon holds on to it tightly and dares himself to hope.

-

Jongin is already in her school uniform, tying her long, wavy hair into a ponytail when she passes by the open door of Junmyeon’s bedroom.

“Hey, how do I look?” Junmyeon calls out.

Jongin stops in her path. She scans him up and down. “What do you mean?”

“What do you think I look like?” he repeats, motioning with his hands.

Jongin successfully ties her hair into a ponytail and drops her hands, wrinkling her nose at Junmyeon. “Like you usually do.”

Like he usually does. Junmyeon turns to face the full body mirror in front of him. He’s in his complete school uniform, shirt buttoned to the top and neatly tucked into his pants. His hair is properly combed, the strands black and falling just above his brows. Just like how a model student would look like. A perfect first impression.

“Do I look good?” he asks, turning back to Jongin.

“You look clumsy,” she tells him with a sweet smile before turning to leave.

“Hey, I’m not finished here,” Junmyeon calls out, striding to the door, but Jongin is already skipping down the stairs.

“Mushroom head,” she shouts back.

Jongin is putting on her shoes, her cheeks bulging out from where she’s stuffed herself with peanut butter sandwich, when Junmyeon reaches the dining table to drink his milk. Jongin is already on her feet and making her way to the front gates when Junmyeon bends down to put his shoes on.

“Jongin, we’re going together,” he reminds her.

Jongin swings the front gates open. “Nope.”

“Mom and dad are going to hear about this,” Junmyeon tells her, giving his shoelace one final knot. He stands to his feet.

Jongin glares at him and pouts grumpily. “I don’t need you to walk me to school. I’m an adult.”

“You’re fifteen,” he points out.

“I can take care of myself,” Jongin throws back, but Junmyeon is already at the front gates.

“Move,” he says, pushing her aside to lock the gates.

Junmyeon tunes Jongin out and tries his best to ignore the way she’s intentionally kicking the back of his foot as they walk to school, Junmyeon feeling giddy and Jongin trailing right behind him. Junmyeon expects the giddiness to subside as time passes, but instead it’s the other way around, the excitement and nervousness combined intensifying as he goes through class after class of lectures and assignments.

Dismissal comes with a loud ring of the school bell that echoes down the hallway and Junmyeon bids his friends goodbye as soon as the teacher leaves.

“Where are you going?” Yifan calls out, because it’s become a habit that, on Fridays, Junmyeon stays to either watch Yifan’s basketball game or crash at Chanyeol’s band practice for the whole two hours that it takes for Jongin’s dance club activities to end.

He brushes Yifan off. “Going to do the general studies project.”

“This soon? With who?” is the last thing Junmyeon hears Yifan say in a mildly confused tone before he falls into the crowded hallway, students filing in and out of classrooms and swarming around noisily. He would stay and consider if he’s going to give Yifan an answer, but he doesn’t want to make Kyungsoo wait.

Junmyeon finds himself in the library five minutes later. It takes another half a minute to locate where Kyungsoo is, sitting at a round table in the less occupied area, his eyeglasses set aside and his laptop perched on the table. He looks up when Junmyeon approaches.

“Hey,” Junmyeon greets him with a smile that widens when their eyes meet. “Um.” He fiddles with the strap of his backpack.

“You should get a chair,” Kyungsoo says, pointing to one on a nearby vacant table.

Oh. “Right,” Junmyeon says, feeling a bit silly, before doing just that.

They don’t get started with the draft right away. Kyungsoo suggests that they work on the outline first, going deeper and deeper as they proceed, instead of jumping right in. Junmyeon doesn’t see why he should suggest otherwise. They agree to focus on censorship for the assigned topic of current practices that should be abolished.

They try to use a wide range of resources. Kyungsoo browses legitimate sites for useful materials that they can use. Junmyeon wills himself to concentrate as he picks the library books that correlate with their topic and finds himself looking at Kyungsoo instead.

The last half an hour is spent going through all the materials they’ve collected together. Kyungsoo isn’t as quiet as Junmyeon thought. His voice is soft and soothing alright, but he’s not hesitant to tell Junmyeon what he thinks when asked. Junmyeon tries not to lean in too much when Kyungsoo motions him to come closer to review a piece of information. It’s harder to resist when Junmyeon picks a book from the pile he’s sorted to find a paragraph that sounds relevant, and Kyungsoo is the one scooting over instead.

Junmyeon doesn’t think Kyungsoo realises how close they are, not quite close but close enough that sometimes Kyungsoo’s hair nearly touches Junmyeon’s cheek. This close, Kyungsoo’s hair looks so soft, the strands a dark brown that shines under the ceiling lights, and Junmyeon has to pull away before his hand decides to do something stupid, like run its fingers down Kyungsoo’s hair and feel it brush against his skin.

“Can you stop that?” Jongin says as the two of them walk down the road home from school, her hair tied in a bun and pinned at random spots like it always is for dance practice.

“Stop what?” Junmyeon asks, grinning to himself as he strolls down the pathway.

“Smiling,” Jongin tells him. “It’s weird.”

Junmyeon can still feel the remnants of how pleasant he’s felt the entire time Kyungsoo sat beside him. “’S not weird. You should try it sometimes.”

They’ve exchanged numbers and are going to meet again after school on Monday. Junmyeon doesn’t stop smiling even as Jongin bops him on the side.

-

Junmyeon leaves early after lunch on Monday. Jongdae is busy trying to kick Yifan under the table as Chanyeol talks their ears off and Baekhyun is preoccupied in making sure he gets to steal enough sleep from his lunch time to make up for when he has stayed awake watching a serial drama the previous night. Yifan sees Junmyeon leave and gives him a mildly inquiring look but doesn’t press.

Kyungsoo’s finished his lunch and has his laptop with him when Junmyeon reaches the third floor multipurpose room. They use the previous materials they’ve collected to further add in and support their points and decide on a concrete thesis for their work.

Junmyeon realises, barely a minute into the session, that it gets a lot harder to not notice how secluded the two of them are from the rest of the students compared to when they were in the library. It’s just as quiet, but here, in this multipurpose room, Junmyeon can’t find himself anything that might distract him from Kyungsoo, and all Junmyeon’s mind thinks of and revolves around as they start on the first paragraph of their introductory page is how close they are from one another and how, as they sit cross-legged on the floor, their knees might touch if Junmyeon scooted just a little bit closer.

It gets harder on the third day. Junmyeon’s heart beats fast just the same, but Kyungsoo is more comfortable around him now, not hesitating to meet Junmyeon in the eyes and leaning in just a little when he’s trying to ask Junmyeon for his opinion and Junmyeon is too preoccupied in trying to resist the urge to reach out and touch.

Everything is so different from what Junmyeon’s expected, and now he doesn’t know how to cope up with the way he feels like drowning whenever their eyes meet and how his skin tingles when Kyungsoo nudges him on the arm because he’s lost in his thoughts again. Junmyeon had expected Kyungsoo to be the quiet type, the type to keep it all to himself and not make a step until Junmyeon guides him forward. Instead, all Kyungsoo needs is for Junmyeon to take him in and show him around and wait until Kyungsoo adjusts himself to the person that is Junmyeon.

An initial push is all Kyungsoo needs, and Junmyeon isn’t aware of how it all turns around to him not knowing how to react when their hands brush and Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate to call him by name.

It goes on, Kyungsoo smiling at him whenever they cross paths in the hallway or when their eyes meet in the secondary auditorium. It goes on, Junmyeon telling Kyungsoo bits about himself and Kyungsoo sharing about stuff that don’t have anything to do with the project they’re working on, about hobbies and likes and dislikes that aren’t too intrusive but they talk about it anyway. It goes on, until leaving early after lunch and spending more time at school after dismissal once a week becomes too little a time and Junmyeon suggests that they do the rest of the project at his home. Kyungsoo agrees.

The first time Kyungsoo visits Junmyeon’s house, Jongin eyes him apprehensively and refuses to step out of her room until Kyungsoo leaves for home. Kyungsoo doesn’t bring it up, instead staying close to Junmyeon’s side and pretending like he isn’t aware of Jongin’s weird behaviour.

It’s another locked door. Junmyeon wonders if Kyungsoo will be able to warm up to Jongin a little faster than he did to Junmyeon, but Junmyeon and Jongin are two totally different cases. Kyungsoo has always had the key to Junmyeon’s door. He only has to come knocking and Junmyeon will readily open up and welcome him in. With Jongin, she shuts him off before he even has the chance to try, and Kyungsoo can’t unlock a door without a keyhole.

Junmyeon confronts Jongin one Sunday afternoon.

“Why do you hate Kyungsoo?” he asks, not bothering to hit around the bush as he leans against the doorframe of Jongin’s room.

“I don’t hate him,” Jongin says, sighing and getting up from her bed. She walks up to him, making to close the door on him, but Junmyeon holds it open.

“Then why don’t you like him?” he presses.

“I don’t-” Jongin huffs at him. “I don’t trust him. I’d stop hanging out with him if I were you.”

This time, when Jongin pushes the door close, Junmyeon doesn’t stop her. This isn’t going to be easy.

-

They’ve just arrived at Junmyeon’s and Junmyeon is toeing his shoes off when he hears someone sulk noisily in the living room.

“I want cheesecake,” sounds in a voice that is unmistakably Lu Han’s.

They reach the living room and Kyungsoo stops in his path upon catching sight of Jongin and her four freshman friends occupying the carpet and two couches. Junmyeon hesitates at first, but Kyungsoo’s never leaned away, so he reaches to rest his hand at the small of Kyungsoo’s back, giving him a light push. Junmyeon lets a small smile wash over his face when Kyungsoo doesn’t pull away, instead letting Junmyeon guide him forward.

“Which part of the shop ran out of cheesecakes don’t you understand,” Sehun mumbles, looking tired, as always.

“But I want my cheesecake,” Lu Han continues to whine, clinging to Yixing like an impractical leech. Yixing chooses to keep her mouth shut, only sporting a kind, dimpled smile on her face as she looks torn between smoothing down Lu Han’s slightly messed up hair and peeling her right off. Sehun helps by kicking Lu Han on the shin with his toes.

Jongin sighs. “Lu Han-”

“Kyungsoo knows how to bake,” Junmyeon says, stepping in. Everyone turns to look at him as soon as he does so, including Kyungsoo, who stares at him with wide eyes.

“Oh! Hi, Junmyeon,” Zitao greets from where he’s sitting on the floor by Jongin’s feet. He sports a clueless expression when he shifts his glance to Kyungsoo, as if he’s trying to say something, but the words die down in his throat. Sehun gives a vague wave of his hand and Yixing smiles sweetly at Junmyeon.

The delighted squeal and repeated ‘please’s that Lu Han lets out is unexpected. Yixing only smiles softly at the pleading look that Lu Han is giving her before exchanging glances with Jongin, though really, Yixing doesn’t look like she minds at all. Jongin looks hesitant at first, and it takes a moment for her to accept the idea, only backing off when Junmyeon gives her a look.

Junmyeon knows it still isn’t easy for Kyungsoo to warm up to people just yet, what with how Jongin’s behaved around him so far, and they’ve only just begun to work on it, but this is a chance Junmyeon can’t let go. Besides, he might very well want to see Kyungsoo do something he’s passionate about. Junmyeon brushes the back of his hand against Kyungsoo’s, a reassuring gesture, and smiles when Kyungsoo gives him one last unsure look before following him to the kitchen.

Junmyeon opens the cabinets and fridge. “I’ve only made a cheesecake once, and it wasn’t the best, but,” Kyungsoo says softly to Junmyeon as he scans the array of food containers displayed around him. The kids are loitering behind them, but Junmyeon doubts they can hear Kyungsoo. “I don’t think we have all the ingredients.”

Yixing manages to coax Sehun with a pretty, dimpled smile he can’t resist. Sehun ends up dragging Lu Han along so that the two of them can go and get some cookies and cream cheese at the grocery store just two blocks down. Junmyeon doesn’t think Lu Han needs to be dragged, though. She’s already too excited to begin with.

Sehun and Lu Han return fifteen minutes later, Sehun with a lollipop in his mouth and Lu Han skipping towards them and swinging the plastic bag delightfully. They get started at once. Kyungsoo has to look a recipe up to get the proportions right, but Junmyeon still thinks he’s amazing, the way he presses the crust into the pan and mixes the filling in a bowl. It’s nothing special, but they all crowd over him with various degrees of interest on their faces, and Junmyeon’s never seen Kyungsoo look so unfazed by his surrounding before. He looks so… at home.

Junmyeon watches as Kyungsoo lifts the pan and places it into the preheated oven swiftly with practiced ease. Lu Han giggles a ‘thank you’ at Kyungsoo, to which Kyungsoo blinks and smiles softly, before Sehun drags her away yet again. Junmyeon accompanies Kyungsoo in the kitchen as they leave the cheesecake to bake. He has a lot to say, like how nice Kyungsoo is towards Lu Han and how Junmyeon likes seeing Kyungsoo bake.

It feels different, sitting with Kyungsoo in the kitchen island like this rather than sitting across him in the library, buried in books and too caught up in assignments to just sit back and take it all in. This, Kyungsoo right beside him with their knees almost touching as the kids’ muffled voices filter in from the living room, Junmyeon feels like they’re closer, like Kyungsoo is just a little more than an arm length apart from him, that if he reaches out he’ll only need to take one last leap to get his grip on Kyungsoo.

Junmyeon doesn’t do any of those. Instead, he says, “I’m sorry you had to do all this.” He means it. Junmyeon does want to help Kyungsoo warm up to people, but he doesn’t want it if Kyungsoo doesn’t. Kyungsoo looks up from where he’s trying to pick a loose skin framing the fingernail of his thumb. “Don’t do that.” He stops when Junmyeon brushes a finger to his.

“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo says. Junmyeon isn’t sure which of the two is, but Kyungsoo isn’t picking at his nail anymore, so he settles on the first. “I wanted to help. She seems nice. Cheerful,” he adds, smiling down at his hands. Junmyeon would like very much for that smile to be directed at him.

“Lu Han,” Junmyeon says.

Kyungsoo turns to him. “Lu Han?”

“She’s Lu Han,” Junmyeon says, looking at Kyungsoo as Kyungsoo looks at him. They rarely have eye contact, what with Kyungsoo always either looking down or at anything else that isn’t Junmyeon, so he holds it out a little bit longer. “Lu Han and Yixing.” He can feel the heat curling in his chest, the happy thumping of his heart as he holds Kyungsoo’s gaze still. “The one who went with Lu Han to get the ingredients is Sehun. The other guy is Zitao.” He wonders if his body’s responses to Kyungsoo’s presence will ever change, if he’ll ever get used to the way Kyungsoo’s eyes curl when he smiles and the way his lips form a perfect heart. Junmyeon wants to keep it all.

Kyungsoo is looking down at his hands again, placed neatly on the cold counter surface. He hums. “I think they’re really nice,” he says. Junmyeon can hear the tiny hint of a smile in his voice.

“They’re Jongin’s friends,” he says, and realises a beat later that it’s probably obvious.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo says nonetheless.

“Jongin is nice too,” Junmyeon adds. “She just,” he says, reaching up to rest a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, “needs time.” Kyungsoo’s shoulder relaxes under his touch.

There’s another silence before Zitao appears at the archway. Junmyeon retreats his hand straight away, breaking the contact as Kyungsoo looks up with a guarded expression.

“Oh,” Zitao starts. “I’m just going to get some drinks from the fridge,” he says, motioning vaguely with his hands.

Kyungsoo stands abruptly. “I’ll take my bag,” he says, mostly to Junmyeon, before brushing past Zitao and heading to the living room for his backpack.

Zitao stares at Kyungsoo’s retreating figure with a small, confused frown on his face. Junmyeon chuckles to himself. “So that’s…” Zitao says, opening the fridge and looking over it at Junmyeon.

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says.

“Kyungsoo,” Zitao repeats. He takes three soda cans and two bottles of water. “I’ve never seen him around before. Well, it’s my first year, but.” He closes the fridge door and proceeds to take a seat beside Junmyeon, on the stool Kyungsoo’s left empty, and dropping the drinks on the counter. “Soda?” he offers, handing one can to Junmyeon. When Junmyeon shakes his head, Zitao pops the can open for himself to drink.

“You know, Zitao, not everyone wakes up everyday with a goal of making at least one new friend at school like you do,” Junmyeon teases, kicking Zitao on the calf with his foot.

Zitao clicks his tongue at him. “Hey, play nice,” he throws back, swatting Junmyeon’s foot with his own.

Junmyeon raises his brows. “Is that how you talk to someone older than you?” he warns, pointing a finger at Zitao.

“Okay, okay,” Zitao says, lifting his palms up in defeat. “Where were my manners? I’m sorry for being impolite to you, grandpa.”

Junmyeon straightens up at that and retaliates by locking an arm around Zitao’s neck in a chokehold, causing Zitao to flail helplessly because despite how frightening his facial features can look to some, Zitao is one of the biggest softies Junmyeon has ever met. It only takes Zitao coughing once before Junmyeon retreats with a huge grin on his face. Zitao pouts at him.

“You’re a big baby,” Junmyeon says. Zitao doesn’t retaliate when Junmyeon reaches up to ruffle his hair, instead leaning in like a purring cat as the pout on his face shifts to a grin. Junmyeon may have only known Zitao for less than a year, but he thinks, if he were to choose someone for a younger brother, it would be Zitao.

Kyungsoo returns a minute later. Junmyeon wonders what took him so long but doesn’t get the chance to ask when Zitao bounces to Kyungsoo and offers a hand to shake. “Zitao,” he says when Kyungsoo accepts his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo says as Zitao moves their hands up and down eagerly.

“Oh, I know,” Zitao says easily. He releases Kyungsoo’s hand and gathers the drinks from the counter. “We can hang out sometime,” he offers with a smile at Kyungsoo before making his way to the living room, though not before sending a wink at Junmyeon.

“That’s Zitao for you,” Junmyeon says, Kyungsoo still standing there with wide eyes and holding his backpack in one arm.

The cheesecake gets served ten minutes later. Kyungsoo mumbles things like the crust is too thick and the filling isn’t sweet enough, and although Junmyeon isn’t one for cheesecake, he still thinks it tastes decent. Lu Han can’t stop squirming delightfully as she eats and Zitao hums in acknowledgement and showers Kyungsoo with compliments. Even Jongin steps in to take an extra piece.

Junmyeon watches as they all take bites of the cheesecake. Yixing may look like she’s getting a bit tired of Lu Han’s whining sometimes, and Sehun may give the impression that he’s always exasperated by every single thing that Lu Han does, but the way the two of them stare fondly at Lu Han as she eats proves otherwise. Junmyeon smiles at the sight.

Kyungsoo follows Junmyeon to his room later so that they can make some progress on their general studies project. They get to add another three and a half pages before Kyungsoo has to leave for curfew.

“Stay safe,” Junmyeon calls out from behind the front gates as Kyungsoo walks away. Kyungsoo only chuckles at him.

Junmyeon gets a text from Kyungsoo fifteen minutes later, saying, I’m home.

Good! :), Junmyeon texts back, smiling down at his phone. They don’t exchange text messages often, but when they do, Junmyeon always catches himself smiling at whatever Kyungsoo has to say and smiles even more when Kyungsoo laughs at his jokes, even if Junmyeon is aware of how unfunny they are.

Kyungsoo texts Junmyeon about what he had for dinner and when they will meet the next day. Junmyeon replies with, I’ll see you tomorrow, and falls asleep with both his phone and a promise in his grip.

-

“I don’t want to eat with that guy,” is the first thing that Jongin says when she catches sight of Kyungsoo, taking a step away from the entrance.

“Jongin,” Junmyeon hisses at his sister. They’re still standing at the doorway of the small roadside eatery and Kyungsoo has yet to spot them from his seat. “That guy has a name. It’s Kyungsoo.”

“I still don’t want to eat with him,” Jongin hisses back, stomping her feet for emphasis.

Their mother had to leave earlier than usual for work today and didn’t have time to prepare food so they don’t have any at home now. It’s only logical that the two of them eat out together as a family. Plus, Junmyeon and Kyungsoo have assignments to do, and he can’t possibly leave Kyungsoo alone while he eats with Jongin.

“I’m going home,” Jongin says, with finality. Junmyeon isn’t having any of this.

“And eat what?” he challenges with a raised brow.

“Well, I can order pizza-”

Jongin is being childish for no reason and Junmyeon is so done with her. “You’ve had pizza twice this week. That’s unhealthy.”

“I don’t want to eat with him,” Jongin insists, stepping on Junmyeon’s foot.

Junmyeon tries to retaliate, but Jongin is fast to step away before he can. He clicks his tongue. “Why?”

Jongin huffs, shooting occasional cautious glances at Kyungsoo’s general direction. “Because he’s scary.” What?

Junmyeon groans exasperatedly. “Why does everyone-”

“Have you seen the way he looks at people like he’s-”

“Trying to shoot laser with his eyes?” Junmyeon prompts, because what else is there to say.

“Like he’s plotting a way to murder me. Or someone. Maybe even you,” she says, a weird expression on her face. “Oh shit.”

“What?”

“That’s why he decided to pair up with you,” Jongin says, shivering a bit.

Junmyeon doesn’t roll his eyes a lot because he thinks it’s stupid, but this time, it’s absolutely necessary. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Oh shit, oh shit.”

Junmyeon sighs. “What?”

“He’s spotted us,” Jongin says.

When Junmyeon turns to check, his eyes meet Kyungsoo’s, and Junmyeon doesn’t hesitate to pull Jongin forward by the wrist.

“Hey-” Junmyeon ignores the way Jongin tugs at his shirt with her free hand. “He’s scary, Junmyeon.”

“He’s not. It’s just the way that he looks at people,” Junmyeon says, pulling Jongin along with him.

Jongin pinches his waist. “The way he looks at people is frightening.”

“Jongin,” Junmyeon says, with gritted teeth, “be nice.” They’re only two tables away from Kyungsoo now, and the confused, wide-eyed look that Kyungsoo is giving them is not the look Junmyeon is expecting to see. He looks good alright, but it’s not a good sign. “Don’t say anything stupid,” he tells Jongin, letting go of her hand. Jongin bites into her lower lip obediently.

Junmyeon takes the seat across Kyungsoo’s and Jongin sits by Junmyeon’s side. The meal went… fine. Jongin only yanks Junmyeon’s shirt once, when she catches Kyungsoo looking at her with wide, searching eyes, and Junmyeon gives Kyungsoo a nervous smile in hopes that it will distract Kyungsoo from the way Jongin is avoiding his stare.

The sidewalk that they use to get home isn’t the widest, and Junmyeon has to fold his hands to himself to make it less cramped because Jongin insists with a pointed whisper at Junmyeon that he stand inbetween so that he can be the first to die in case Kyungsoo decides to make a move now. Junmyeon thinks his sister is going absolutely insane.

Jongin locks herself in her room once they reach home and Kyungsoo doesn’t mention anything that has to do with Jongin’s weird behaviour towards him, though Junmyeon is more than a hundred percent sure that Kyungsoo is completely aware of it.

Someone has to fix this.

-

The deadline isn’t until a couple of weeks later and they only have a quarter of work left to do for the project. Junmyeon thinks they deserve some reward. Kyungsoo’s face lights up when Junmyeon offers a snack break, and Junmyeon hums on his way down the stairs and to the kitchen until he finds out that they’ve run out of snacks.

So here is Junmyeon, the afternoon sunlight hitting his face as soon as he walks out of the grocery store with two bags full of snacks. Junmyeon considers, Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind him being away for just a little more than ten minutes.

Junmyeon chucks one of the bags onto the dining table and walks up the stairs with the other in his grip. When he opens the door to his room, he doesn’t find only Kyungsoo, but also Jongin in it, her face full of concentration as Kyungsoo points at something in her notebook. The both of them look up at the sound of the door opening.

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, his brows raised.

“I-” Jongin staggers back. “I wanted to ask you about math but you weren’t there so I-”

“Jongin.”

“I thought he could help-”

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon corrects.

“So I decided to ask him and I-”

“Jongin, it’s fine,” Junmyeon tells her, stepping into the room and dropping the plastic bag onto the table. Kyungsoo eyes the snacks.

“I didn’t- What?”

“I wasn’t here. You can always ask Kyungsoo for help.” Junmyeon takes his seat on the vacant chair, beside Kyungsoo. “Do you mind helping Jongin?”

Kyungsoo gives him a faint raise of his brows. “No.” He snorts lightly when Junmyeon flashes him an accomplished smile. Jongin stares at them, confused.

“Snacks?” Junmyeon asks, offering a pack of chips to Jongin who doesn’t say anything as she seems to just stand there and think. She’s still so young, this little sister of his, so young and confused and naive. Junmyeon smiles fondly.

“You’re not as scary as I thought you were,” Jongin says, all of a sudden, and it takes all of Junmyeon not to laugh right then right there. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem like he has enough in him to suppress it all in, though, because as soon as the words leave Jongin, Kyungsoo is laughing, quickly covering his mouth with his hands and forcing out a string of coughs to hide his laugh.

“How was I scary?” Kyungsoo asks, after he has calmed himself down a bit.

“Well, you look at people weirdly,” Jongin says, then, “Why do you look at people weirdly?”

“Jongin, that’s not something you ask someone,” Junmyeon says, slightly taken aback by how straightforward she is, but doesn’t press when Kyungsoo rests a hand on his knee.

“I wear glasses,” he tells Jongin, who takes a while to process the information before it seems to add up in her mind and she nods slowly.

“I like how you explained that formula to me,” she says. “Teacher always talks too fast and I find it hard to cope up sometimes.”

Junmyeon looks down at Kyungsoo’s hand that is resting on his knee and brushes his knuckles against it. “So what do you say to him?” he asks, to Jongin, giving her a pointed look.

Jongin pouts at him. “I don’t need you to remind me when I have to say thank you. I’m not four.” This time, Kyungsoo does a great job in keeping his laugh all to himself. “Thank you, Kyungsoo,” Jongin says, with a smile, and Junmyeon can tell that it’s genuine.

They spend the rest of the day adding another page to their draft and eating snacks. Sometimes Kyungsoo gets too caught up in reading an article he forgets to eat. Junmyeon feeds him chips and cookies instead of calling him out on it.

The next day, things are better. Jongin is more comfortable around Kyungsoo, listening attentively when he explains her stuff she can’t seem to understand and stopping by to say goodbye when Kyungsoo leaves for home.

The day after the next is even better. They get to finish their draft a week and a half early. They spend the rest of the day watching this one sport anime on Junmyeon’s laptop that Kyungsoo has recommended. Kyungsoo shifts to rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder halfway through the second episode. Junmyeon rests his hand on Kyungsoo’s and holds.

Day after day, without Junmyeon realising, he’s gone from trying to make Kyungsoo notice him, to Kyungsoo leaning in without Junmyeon even having to do so first. Day by day, after every single touch that leaves Junmyeon’s skin tingling with a want for more and the next not less special than the previous one, Junmyeon holds Kyungsoo close and doesn’t let go.

Kyungsoo never talks about any of it, but this is fine. This isn’t about Junmyeon. This is about Junmyeon and Kyungsoo, about them, about working things out together in a pace that is comfortable for not only Junmyeon, but also Kyungsoo. Junmyeon knows that Kyungsoo needs time, and he is there to give. Junmyeon will always be there for Kyungsoo as long as Kyungsoo wants him to.

-

Junmyeon breathes in the fresh air and lets the back of his hand brush against Kyungsoo’s from time to time as they walk side by side. If Kyungsoo minds, he doesn’t voice it out loud. Kyungsoo has a heart-shaped grin on his face that makes Junmyeon’s heart swell everytime he catches sight of it. They’ve just received the results for their general studies project earlier that morning (a 92 out of 100), and Junmyeon has reasoned that it’s only sensible that they have a celebration.

They get bread at the small homemade bakery across school, sweet potato for Kyungsoo and a red bean filling for Junmyeon. They get to the arcade next, their backpacks still on their shoulders, and Junmyeon smiles at Kyungsoo’s sparkling eyes as he eyes the array of gaming machines.

Junmyeon goes as far as failing for all of his seven tries on the claw machine before Kyungsoo wraps an arm around his and pulls him to one of the slot machines. Junmyeon wants to tell Kyungsoo that the slot machine is an even worse idea. He doesn’t because Kyungsoo still has his arm wrapped around Junmyeon’s, his free hand used to fiddle with the toggle switch.

They have kimchi stew at the nearby eatery after and it’s dark out by the time Junmyeon walks Kyungsoo home. They’re still in their school uniforms, but the weather is nice, the warmth perfect and not hot enough to make them sweat. They turn a corner and Kyungsoo pulls them into a convenience store where they get cheap ice cream, strawberry for Kyungsoo and vanilla for Junmyeon.

Outside the store, Kyungsoo sits on the platform and Junmyeon takes his seat across Kyungsoo on the pavement. Their backpacks are left to lie beside them. The street light shines an ugly yellow light on Kyungsoo as he scoops strawberry ice cream into his mouth, but the shadow it creates is brilliant, framing his face and highlighting his features, and Junmyeon can feel his heart beat so fast in his chest at the close proximity. Junmyeon doesn’t want this day to end.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Kyungsoo asks, breaking the silence.

Junmyeon looks up from his ice cream, and looks at Kyungsoo. The question catches him off-guard, not having expected it to come by this fast. Then again, it’s been nearly a couple of months. Perhaps it’s time.

Junmyeon looks down, flustered, scoops ice cream with his tiny convenience store plastic ice cream spoon. “Because I want to,” he says, not quite looking at Kyungsoo.

“Why?” Kyungsoo throws at him again, clearly not letting him shut the conversation down. He lowers his head to peer at Junmyeon, silently forcing Junmyeon to look him in the eyes.

There’s a lot of reasons to why Junmyeon is nice to Kyungsoo, to why he wants to be. There is the obvious – Kyungsoo deserves someone he can talk to, someone to smile with, someone he can hold onto in times of need or just to be there for him.

And then there is the not-so-obvious – that tiny spark in Junmyeon’s chest that grows steadily brighter day by day and tugs at him whenever Kyungsoo looks at him and smiles. It’s not exposed for everyone to see, but Junmyeon knows, deep down, that it’s there.

“Because I like you,” he says, finally, and when he meets Kyungsoo in the eyes, the latter is looking at him with those huge, beautiful round eyes.

“As a friend…” Kyungsoo says, letting it trail off. It’s neither a question nor a statement. It’s an open-end, bare and waiting for Junmyeon to fill it in and tell Kyungsoo what he really means to him.

Behind Kyungsoo, Junmyeon can see the posters lining up the glass walls of the convenience store, and the counters set against them where students can have instant ramen and cold instant rice and passersby can hang around while they wait for the rain to stop. Junmyeon can hear the occasional sound of cars passing by behind him and wonders if Kyungsoo’s gaze is caught on the moving cars, distracted.

Junmyeon shakes his head. “No,” he says, to the ground.

Kyungsoo hums as a sound of acknowledgement, and it’s obvious that Kyungsoo is paying no attention to the cars driving away because then he’s carefully putting away his ice cream cup and kneeling down and taking Junmyeon’s face in his hands and pressing their mouths together, Kyungsoo’s full lips soft against Junmyeon’s, and suddenly all Junmyeon can see and feel is Kyungsoo as he holds tight to his vanilla ice cream cup and tastes strawberry on his lips.

Junmyeon makes this sound at the back of his throat he isn’t aware he’s capable of making and flushes in embarrassment, the palms of Kyungsoo’s hands going less warm against his heating cheeks. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be put off by it, and Junmyeon’s heart leaps when he feels Kyungsoo smile into the kiss.

Kyungsoo is grinning when he pulls away, the heart-shaped smile making his face glow under the streetlight and Junmyeon’s never seen anyone so beautiful. Kyungsoo licks his lips and doesn’t let his hands drop. “Since when?” Kyungsoo asks as he looks down at Junmyeon, his voice soft and breath warm against Junmyeon’s face.

Junmyeon doesn’t tear his gaze away from Kyungsoo as he puts his cup of ice cream down on the pavement. “Last year,” he admits, and at the soft smile on Kyungsoo’s face and the gentle rub of his thumb against Junmyeon’s cheek, adds, “Maybe more.”

Kyungsoo kisses Junmyeon again. This time, when Kyungsoo dips down to lick the seam of Junmyeon’s lips, Junmyeon reaches up and rests his hand on Kyungsoo’s nape to pull him closer, always closer until there’s no more distance to overcome.

-

Zitao and Jongin don’t tear their gaze away from the television screen even as Chanyeol barges in noisily and Baekhyun shouts incoherently just because he thinks it’s necessary to be louder than Chanyeol. Baekhyun smacks Zitao at the back of his head as he passes the couch and Zitao chucks the controller away just so he can throw a ball of used tissue at Baekhyun who escapes with practiced ease. That results in Zitao losing Mario Kart from a victorious Jongin and Baekhyun sprinting wildly to the kitchen as he escapes Zitao’s deadly Wushu movements.

When Junmyeon reaches the kitchen, Yifan is munching at an apple he’s taken from the fruit basket and Jongdae already has an assortment of chip packets in his arms. Junmyeon is about to tell the four of them to get to his room and wait there until Jongin and Zitao decide to leave the television alone so they can have their movie night, but he doesn’t need to, because they’re all already climbing up the stairs to Junmyeon’s room, Junmyeon left to trail behind them instead. He doesn’t know how their years of friendship have led them to this.

The first thing that Yifan does as soon as they all get to Junmyeon’s room is drop himself on Junmyeon’s bed. If it were Baekhyun or Jongdae, Junmyeon would have dragged their dirty feet off his bed with a hard yank, but this is Yifan, and Junmyeon wouldn’t want to waste his time and energy trying to move even an inch of that giant of a person. Instead, he takes the seat by his study desk as Baekhyun makes himself comfortable on Yifan and Jongdae slumps on the floor beside Chanyeol.

They talk about things. About things they’re comfortable to share with each other, about things they’re uncomfortable to talk about with everyone else that isn’t the five of them. They talk about random things, like the new kimbap restaurant that opened last week, and silly things, like how their geography teacher spends his spare time cooing at birds from under the huge tree by the main gates. They talk about funny things, and awkward things, and mundane things, until Jongdae decides to complain about Baekhyun not being any help at all with their general studies project and Junmyeon freezes in his spot.

“I shouldn’t have paired up with you,” Jongdae says, staring emptily at the wall. “Should’ve known better.”

“You do know better,” is Baekhyun’s answer. “I’m entertaining. That’s a plus point.”

“That’s the worst point. You keep finding ways to distract us from the project,” Jongdae tells him. Junmyeon shifts his gaze around nervously. Jongdae turns to Chanyeol with a pleading look on his face. “Have you started anything with Yifan? Can I pair up with you instead? Please please pleaaase?”

“He’s mine, Jongdae. We’re halfway down the road. Stay in your lane,” Yifan says as he kicks Baekhyun off the bed.

“Hey!” Baekhyun says, shooting a glare at Yifan and rubbing the part of his butt that hit the floor. “It’s a good thing I have an extremely plump ass, or you would have had to pay for my hospital bills.”

Jongdae groans. “Shut up, Baekhyun.”

“You don’t have to look at us like that, Junmyeon,” Yifan says, and Junmyeon halts. “We know that you paired up with Kyungsoo.”

Hold on. There’s no way that Minseok will ever… “How did you-”

“Zitao told us,” Jongdae says, holding Junmyeon’s gaze. Of course Zitao did.

The thing is, Junmyeon was going to tell. He was going to, and he was waiting until Kyungsoo is okay with it, until Kyungsoo allows Junmyeon to introduce him to his friends as someone Junmyeon deems as special. He’s never meant to keep it all to himself. But it’s been weeks, and sometimes, Junmyeon isn’t the perfect person that he wants himself to be.

“We had suspicions,” Yifan says. “What with you finishing lunch early and leaving as soon as school is dismissed. We didn’t ask because, well, you’ve always been the saner one among the five of us, and so we thought, maybe you needed your break.” Yifan is looking at the ceiling, and Junmyeon doesn’t say anything, just tries to listen, for once.

“I mean, I may not be the best person to talk about Kyungsoo to,” Chanyeol says. “But, you know, I can try. To listen.”

“We can try and be there for you if you need us,” Jongdae says. “Or maybe you’re not ready to talk about it just yet, but just know that we’re here.”

“We may be annoying sometimes,” Baekhyun says. “But what are friends for, am I right?” he says, turning to Jongdae with a lazy smile on his face and posing for a fist bump. Jongdae bumps his fist against it with a snicker.

Yifan stretches his arms over his head, yawning with a hint of a smile at the ends of his lips and feet dangling over the edge of Junmyeon’s bed. Chanyeol nudges Junmyeon’s foot with a socked toe and grins when Junmyeon smiles down at him.

“Thank you,” he tells them all, and means it.

They’re quiet for a while, letting the comfortable silence settle and sink in, until Baekhyun breaks it apart. “What do you say, we have Kyungsoo sit with us for lunch tomorrow?”

“I can’t promise you that i’ll be completely okay with it. He still scares me, mind you,” Chanyeol says. “But if Junmyeon doesn’t mind, then why not?”

“First things first,” Jongdae says. “How’s it going so far?” he asks, wiggling his brows at Junmyeon.

Junmyeon doesn’t dodge the question. “Well, we,” he says, taking in the various degrees of anticipation in his friends’ eyes, “we kissed. Yesterday.”

Yifan, Chanyeol and Jongdae’s brows rise in amusement. Baekhyun stands up abruptly, taking all of them by surprise. “You went as far as kissing him and didn’t tell any of us about it?” he demands loudly, pointing a finger at Junmyeon in mock anger. “It’s over, Junmyeon. Movie night is over. Everything is over, our brotherhood is over, movie night is no more and I’m going home because-”

Baekhyun only stops, his words ending with a shriek, when Jongdae yanks him back down. Jongdae groans to the ceiling, “For fuck’s sake, Baekhyun, shut up.”

They have movie night alright. Yifan falls asleep ten minutes into the movie. Baekhyun pelts cheeseball at everyone because they don’t have popcorn and Jongdae hurls a pillow at Baekhyun when he gets a cheeseball in the eye. Junmyeon just hums whenever Chanyeol asks him what’s going to happen next despite him knowing clearly that none of them has ever seen the movie before, and Junmyeon can’t even find it in himself to be mad at any of them. Junmyeon is thankful for his friends and wouldn’t want to trade any of them for anybody else.

Junmyeon washes up after everyone has left and calls Kyungsoo later in bed. He smiles at the obvious grogginess in Kyungsoo’s voice when he first answers with a lazy hum.

“In bed?” Junmyeon asks. Kyungsoo hums. He sounds so sleepy Junmyeon wouldn’t be surprised if Kyungsoo were answering his call with his eyes closed. “I was talking with the boys today,” another hum, “and they were asking, if you’d like to have lunch together with us.”

Silence at the other end of the line.

“Are you sleeping?”

“No,” Kyungsoo mumbles. “‘M not.”

Junmyeon trails a finger down the seam of his comforter.

“But yes,” Kyungsoo says, “for the lunch.”

“Are you sure?” Junmyeon asks. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can just tell the-”

“I want to,” Kyungsoo says, voice still clouded with sleep, but Junmyeon can hear the certainty in it. “I’ll come.”

“Okay.” The curtains hanging down the windows to his room are drawn closed, but in the darkness of the room, Junmyeon can see the way the moonlight filters through the curtains to give a pleasant, dim glow on the wall across it. “Good night.”

“Good night, Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo says, and in it, Junmyeon can hear him smile.

-

Junmyeon doesn’t head to the cafeteria right away once lunch break starts. He makes his way to one of the classrooms down the hall instead. Kyungsoo is already heading to the door when he arrives and smiles when he sees Junmyeon. Junmyeon doesn’t hesitate to take Kyungsoo’s hand in his as soon as he’s in reach, and they walk together through the packed hallway to the cafeteria, Kyungsoo’s hand sure and secure in Junmyeon’s grip.

They queue for lunch. Junmyeon gets a smile every now and then, from classmates he meet everyday to people he’s only talked to a few times before, what with being president of the student council and all. Kyungsoo inches away from people and is hesitant to meet gazes when he gets eyes directed at him. Kyungsoo avoids all the spicy stuff and skips the bean sprouts. Junmyeon balances his tray on one hand and rest his other hand on Kyungsoo’s hip to keep him close.

Junmyeon feels someone pull at the back of his shirt as they walk through the cafeteria hall and turns to see Minseok peering up at him from where she’s sitting at her lunch table with some of the other senior students. A few are part of the student council, and they nod at Junmyeon before leaving them alone when Minseok scoots closer, preferring to mind their own business and letting Junmyeon and Minseok have their own private conversation. Junmyeon steps to the side so Kyungsoo can stand beside him. He still has his hand resting on Kyungsoo’s hip, and he feels Kyungsoo relax a little when he sees Minseok.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Minseok greets with a small wave, a warm smile on her pretty face.

Kyungsoo smiles back, “Hi.”

Junmyeon dips down to whisper into Minseok’s ear, “Thank you.” He sees the knowing smile on Minseok’s face before stepping away from the table to leave, pulling Kyungsoo along with him and ignoring the confused look on Kyungsoo’s face.

They pass by Jongin’s table and Zitao stops them before they can escape.

“You should sit with us,” Zitao says, almost immediately, and the amused smile that Kyungsoo gives him copies itself on Junmyeon’s face.

“Totally,” Jongin says expectantly, nodding along.

“Oh, hey Kyungsoo!” Lu Han waves excitedly from where she’s sitting between Yixing and Sehun. Sehun takes the chance to snatch a couple of peas from Lu Han’s plate, only retreating when Yixing taps the back of his hand with her chopsticks.

Kyungsoo has a soft smile on his face that brightens his whole face. Junmyeon wants very much to kiss him right then right there. Instead, he tells the freshman kids, “Nope, he’s with me.”

Junmyeon tightens his grip on Kyungsoo’s hip and hears Jongin let out a whine as they walk away, Zitao calling out from behind them, “See you later!”

They reach their table near the end of the hall where Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Yifan and Jongdae are already waiting. Yifan notices them first, giving a vague wave and a lopsided smile. Baekhyun copies the gesture and intensifies it into an unnecessarily large wave that requires his whole arm to move. The result is him accidentally hitting Jongdae on the head and Jongdae purposely smacking his head in return. At the apprehensive expression on Kyungsoo’s face, Junmyeon chuckles to himself and guides Kyungsoo to the table.

Junmyeon gets Kyungsoo to sit by his side. Kyungsoo already knows them all by name, so an introduction isn’t necessary, and Baekhyun makes things less awkward by, well, being himself. None of them crowd around Kyungsoo and shower him with questions, instead joking around and talking loudly like how they usually do. Chanyeol gets less cautious of Kyungsoo as time flies, even offering him a goofy smile when Kyungsoo snickers at one of his jokes. Junmyeon rests his hand on Kyungsoo’s knee at one point, gauging his reactions, but Kyungsoo just smiles happily at him. Junmyeon thinks his friends are doing a great job at welcoming Kyungsoo to the table themselves.

Junmyeon walks Kyungsoo home later, after making sure that Jongin has her friends for company. He laces their fingers together and smiles when Kyungsoo swings their intertwined hands as they walk down the road home. Junmyeon doesn’t think he’s ever had his heart swell so much, and doesn’t think at all when he leans in to give Kyungsoo a surprise peck on the cheek. Kyungsoo’s eyes are wide open when Junmyeon pulls away, but he’s quick to pull Junmyeon back in and press their lips together into a kiss. Junmyeon has never been happier.

-

Junmyeon hears more than sees the pout on Jongin’s face when he ruffles her hair as he walks past before taking a seat beside her on the dining table. Today’s dinner is roasted chicken and warm steamed rice with a side of potato and carrot soup. They don’t get to have dinner together often, Junmyeon and Jongin usually already asleep by the time their parents get home from work because they have school the next day. But tomorrow is Sunday, and Junmyeon smiles as their parents sit across them, the expression on their faces tired but genuine just the same. Jongin smiles at the pile of cooked chicken bits placed in front of her.

Dinner is pleasant, as always, and Junmyeon laughs into his meal when their mother swats their father’s hand as he tries to discreetly pour more sugar into his tea. Junmyeon continues to laugh just as the frown forms on Jongin’s face when their mother reminds her about what she’s been reminding her for months.

“So have you applied for the student council vice president yet?” their mother inquires, voice kind despite the pointed cock of her brow.

“Mom,” Jongin whines, drooping into her plate.

“This is Minseok’s last year, and you wouldn’t want to miss the chance. She’s practically left it open just for you,” she presses.

Junmyeon takes a bite of the roasted chicken and hums delightfully as the flavour bursts in his mouth. He looks up to exchange a weird look with his father which causes him to snort into his chicken. “I don’t want to be in the student council,” Jongin says, frowning as she uses her spoon to swirl her soup around.

“I believe it won’t be hard for you to get into it, considering your brother is the president. And it would be good for your college application.”

“Mom, Jongin is already in the dance club,” Junmyeon says, and the look that Jongin gives him is grateful.

Their mother is persistent. “Well, Minseok is part of the debate club and vice president of the student council.”

And manages to always ace all of her subjects. Junmyeon doesn’t voice that out loud. Minseok’s and their parents have known each other since forever, keeping contact even after Minseok’s family has moved to another neighbourhood, so it isn’t surprising that their mother sets for her daughter a perfect role model that is Kim Minseok and expects her to be just as perfect. Which Jongin is, just not in the same ways.

Junmyeon looks up to find their father landing a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder.

Jongin sighs. “Mom-”

“Okay, okay.” she finally says. Jongin closes her mouth. “But I want you to have a position in the dance club. If you do so by the next school year,” she says, their father’s hand still resting on her shoulder, and finishes, albeit with a bit of reluctance showing at the crease on her forehead, “I’ll let the student council go.”

“Yes!” Jongin shrieks from her seat. The smile on their mother’s face is heartwarming.

Junmyeon knows none of them has to worry about this. Jongin has been dancing since she knew how to move her feet, and at the way she swings and sways along whenever there’s music, it’s like she’s never stopped ever since. They all watched her solo performance on the school’s new year celebration, (their father gave out the loudest cheer when she gave the audience a deep bow) and know that she’s been chosen to perform a duet for the upcoming school year-end concert. Junmyeon is proud of her. They all are. He lets out a relieved sigh, because Jongin is finally safe from their mother’s constant persuasion. Jongin is safe, which means…

“So how’s it all going for you, Junmyeon?” Her smile is pointed at him now. Junmyeon sinks a little in his seat.

Jongin’s eyes brighten at the question. “Oh! He got a boy-”

It’s not what Junmyeon’s expected, but his mind registers so fast that his hand comes up automatically to shove a piece of chicken leg into Jongin’s mouth. Jongin sputters into the chicken and backs away at the look Junmyeon gives her.

Junmyeon turns to the sight of their mother’s raised brows. “What’s wrong?”

Jongin pushes Junmyeon away and bites into the chicken. “He,” she starts, and smiles cautiously when Junmyeon gives her another look, “made a new friend.”

Junmyeon lets out a relieved sigh.

“Oh. That’s nice,” is all their mother says.

It’s not that Junmyeon doesn’t want to introduce Kyungsoo to their parents. It’s just that, Kyungsoo is Kyungsoo, and Junmyeon doesn’t want to make Kyungsoo do something he’s not ready to, like meeting new, unfamiliar, possibly important people, like Junmyeon’s parents. They have their own pace. Junmyeon will introduce Kyungsoo to his parents, and Kyungsoo will do the same, when they’re both ready, which isn’t now. There’s another time for that. Next time, he will.

Their mother lets the matter go easily, proceeding to talk to mostly Jongin about her plan to stay at their grandparents’ this upcoming holiday, to which Jongin nods vaguely. Their father doesn’t, though. Junmyeon looks up to see their father looking at him with a searching look on his face. Junmyeon avoids his gaze for the rest of dinner and is thankful when he doesn’t bring anything up, instead giving Junmyeon an understanding pat on the back when they proceed to clean the dishes up.

Junmyeon video calls Kyungsoo later that night. Kyungsoo is already in his nightwear, the expression on his face soft and lazy as he greets Junmyeon with a smile. It’s been a week, and they try to do this everyday. Sometimes they talk. Other times they discuss homework. Mostly, though, Junmyeon is content to just watch as Kyungsoo does his reading of the day. Either way, Junmyeon likes it because it’s Kyungsoo.

The door to his room opens half an hour into the call and Junmyeon jerks away from the screen only to find Jongin peeking through the gap on the door.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, slipping into Junmyeon’s bedroom. “It wasn’t on purpose.”

Junmyeon gives her a smile. She doesn’t have to tell him that for him to know that it wasn’t. “It’s fine,” he says, with a small shake of his head. “Hey, why don’t you say hi to Kyungsoo?”

On the screen, Kyungsoo looks up from his book at the sound of his name. He’s so handsome still, despite the sleep already starting to cloud his eyes, and Junmyeon doesn’t stop the smile on his face from widening.

“That’s Kyungsoo?” The screen of his laptop is facing away from the door so Jongin can’t see what’s on the screen, but she skips right in when he motions her to come closer. Jongin doesn’t bother to get in the frame properly, instead stopping across Junmyeon and dipping down so she’s looking at the camera upside down. “Hi Kyungsoo!” she chirps, trying to keep her voice low. Junmyeon doubts Kyungsoo can even see her clearly, what with her long hair that’s probably covering half of her face and how close she is to the camera, but he grins at her silliness nonetheless.

They keep it on for another hour after Jongin leaves, before Junmyeon decides to call the night off because Kyungsoo’s head is already lolling into his book.

“Good night, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says, smiling fondly. “I love you.”

Kyungsoo chuckles, brushing his hair back as he looks at Junmyeon with a faint tinge on his cheeks. “Love you, too,” he says. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Junmyeon nods. “Tomorrow.”

Junmyeon sleeps with his laptop turned off and put away on the mess that is his desk and with warmth in his chest and an assurance that, for now, everything is okay.

Tomorrow will be better.